A Delicate Operation

The rolling hills and brilliant green backdrop felt like something out of a movie. Everywhere, birds and small creatures basked in the sunlight, frolicking every which way. The summer air was the perfect blend of warm and cool all at once, with a gentle breeze sprinkled in for good measure.

“It’s absolutely beautiful,” Emily exclaimed, nearly breathless. “Don’t you think, Josh?”

Joshua, her fiance, seemed anything but enthusiastic. Surrounded by such breath-taking beauty, his comparative indifference was jarring.

“If you think this is beautiful,” the wedding coordinator replied, “wait until you see the view for the ceremony!”

They ambled down the winding forest pathway that led down from the reception hall. Suddenly, as if a curtain had been pulled away, the trees disappeared and revealed a picturesque mountain landscape. The altar was set with magnificent mahogany wood and vibrant arrays of colorful bouquets were arranged all around. Never in a thousand years could Emily have dreamed of being married in such a place.

“We’ll take it! We absolutely have to get married here!” She turned and caught Josh looking down at his phone, then hastily putting it away.

“Uh, are you sure… dear? We think this is the one?”

Emily shot him a dangerous glare. “Yes Josh. This is the one.” She turned and recaptured her cheerful demeanor with a bright smile. “Thank you very much, Mrs. Stevens. Whatever it costs, we are going to make it happen. I want my wedding day to be absolutely perfect, and now I can’t see myself getting married anywhere else!”

Mrs. Stevens beamed. “My job is really the easiest in the world. As soon as people see this view, they always have to have it.”

Josh, trying and failing to keep his displeasure hidden from Emily, surveyed the landscape with a shaky smile. “So, we have until next June to pay in full, correct?”

“Absolutely,” Mrs. Stevens replied. “We only require half payment up front. 25% in December, and then the remaining balance, as well as all vendor fees, the week before the ceremony next year.”

Josh scratched the back of his head and Emily thought she caught him mumbling something under his breath… but she couldn’t be sure.

***

Jacqueline had been on the force for fifteen years. In that time, she had seen some pretty dark and dangerous stuff, specifically back in her early years making the rounds in the city. These days, things were easy and calm, to the point where they were positively dull.

When she arrived at work this morning, she had been greeted by the junior detective, Garcia, with a “morning, Detective Hurst.”

Jacqueline’s nose curled at the word “Hurst”. It was the name of her lazy, good-for-nothing husband of eight years. As far as she was concerned, the name no longer belonged to her. Nothing was official, since her husband’s benefits were far better than hers, but in her mind, she had thought of herself as Jacqueline Rose, her maiden name, for the better part of a year.

From the day she had been married, her marriage had turned out to be a soulless shell of the life that had been promised to her. Thomas Hurst was never abusive, nor was he an alcoholic, but he was simply boring. During their courtship, he had taken her around the world, showing her sights and sounds she could have never dreamed of. As soon as she walked down the aisle, it was clear that he had gotten what he wanted. All of his passion and ambition seemed to simply deflate like a balloon and within six months, Jacqueline found herself practically sleeping alone.

For years, there was no financial viability to leaving her husband. Even now, it was not something she was prepared to undertake. She had considered attempting to plant evidence and sue him for enough money to sustain herself for a while, but had thought better of it. It was well known around the force that her marriage was an unhappy one. She had learned to just grit her teeth and get through it.

She had long ago accepted that she might never find love.

That is, until she met Joshua DeMario. He was a far better lover than anyone she had ever met. He seemed to read her like a book and at times he almost felt like the author. He was simply intoxicating. Never, at any point with Thomas, had she ever felt so alive or so loved. 

Their affair had begun nearly eight months previously. Joshua was engaged to a woman named Emily, who controlled every aspect of his life and made him miserable. She was the daughter of a very wealthy family and until he could secure a marriage to her, then a subsequent divorce, he could not afford to waste the time invested in that relationship.

You see, Joshua DeMario was a con man. Not by trade, but in the ways of the heart. He had been married previously many times, always making out with riches and wealth far exceeding what he had started with.

This would have scared Jacqueline away except that he was clear with her: their relationship would not lead to marriage. It would remain the way it was. Passionate, loving, and exciting. They might have other marriages, but their love would only ever be for one another. And it would always be true.

At any rate, Jacqueline had not become a detective by accident. She could sniff out a lie faster than a drug dog at a Doobie Brothers concert. Joshua was not lying to her or she would know it.

“Detective Hurst,” the captain had said when she reached her desk. “We’ve got some new footage about those airport baggage claim robberies. We want you to look into it with Garcia and see what you can come up with.”

Jacqueline gave him a thumbs up. She had already worked out that there was an operation of at least twelve men and women working to steal luggage out of baggage claims and then sell the things they stole at significantly marked down prices. After a few weeks on their trail, she knew she was getting close to nailing them.

The detective work was routine. Piecing together variables and crossing off possibilities. It was just a checklist of tasks to her. 

The far more stimulating tasks in her mind were those related to her clandestine affair. If either Joshua’s fiance or her own husband discovered their affair before the divorce was finalized, she and Josh would be left with next to nothing.

***

Emily spent the better part of the next day organizing various decorations and planning for how it would all be displayed on the day of. Now that she had her dream venue, it was time to get the other million details just right.

Her sister, Brittany, had taken some time out of her Sunday afternoon to help Emily get things sorted out.

“Where on earth did you get all of these decorations,” Brittany exclaimed, finishing up with a stack of no fewer than twenty-four ornamental lanterns. “Unless I’m mistaken, Josh is only a level one at his firm and you are a freelance supplement saleswoman and amateur yoga instructor with twenty-five followers on your page.”

Emily waved away her sister’s concern. “Mom and dad gave us a decent sized gift to cover all of this, the dress, the food, and all that. Josh is going to pay for the wedding venue, the cake, and the honeymoon.”

Brittany whistled. “I suppose he must have a decent bit saved up from his last job, then. Or else the two of you are going to be in a hell of a lot of debt.”

Emily shrugged her shoulders. “I let Josh handle the money. I’m in charge of making my day perfect. We’ll handle the rest when we get there.”

Brittany didn’t seem satisfied, but she excused herself to the restroom and Emily hoped this meant the issue was behind them. She took to gleefully sorting through sixteen different styles of napkins and matching them to the potential placemats and silverware sets. If Brittany never came back from the bathroom at all, she would have been just fine.

“Oh my God,” Brittany exclaimed. “Where did you find this?! It’s hot as hell.”

Emily looked up to see her holding a lacy piece of lingerie that contained barely enough fabric to floss someone’s teeth, let alone leave anything to the imagination. It was undeniably sexy, but the sight of it sent a shiver down Emily’s spine.

“What is that? Where did you find it? I don’t own a piece of lingerie like that.”

Brittany frowned. She held it up and examined it carefully. “No price tag, no receipt or bag anywhere.” She checked further. “Not sure if it’s been used or not. And you’re sure it isn’t yours?”

It was Emily’s turn to frown. The lace was bright pink and more gaudy than anything she owned. “I think I would know if I had a set of fuchsia colored lingerie. Where in my room did you find it?”

“Tucked away in the corner. But it was impossible to miss if your eyes got anywhere near the spot. It was very poorly hidden.”

A wave of dread washed over Emily. She suddenly remembered just how unenthusiastic he had seemed about their wedding venue. Over the past few weeks, he had been mysteriously hard to reach. She had caught him texting at odd times, with names and numbers she didn’t recognize. In fact, over the past few weeks, since the engagement really, they had spent very little time together in general.

Could it be possible?

“You don’t think–”

Brittany very quickly shook her head, her face bright as a tomato. “Absolutely not! Josh loves you. He would never! I’m sure this is just a present that he was hiding for you.”

“Where is he though? It’s the weekend and he’s never here. He gives me no explanation for where he’s gone or what he’s doing. And now, I find a mysterious woman’s underwear in my bedroom! How could I be so stupid?”

“Honey, relax,” Brittany said. “If you really think there is a possibility that he’s cheating on you, before you freak out, let’s just test it out. We’ll set a trap for him and then you’ll know for sure.”

That very afternoon, the two sisters hatched a plan that would eventually ensnare our poor Josh.

***

Elsewhere, Jacqueline was making routine progress on the string of airport robberies. There was a crew of at least fifteen, working a set of twelve airports on rotation. They mixed up the crews daily and switched airports, terminals, and tactics almost constantly.

One day, bags would disappear from baggage claim, the next day, they might disappear before even reaching the plane. At least once, someone posing as a pilot took some luggage and disguised it as his own carry-on. It seemed that the thieves had infiltrated nearly every level of the airport security and were working in an almost air-tight organization with one another.

Where they had slipped up, and where Jacqueline was about to nail them, was in their plan to off-load the stolen merchandise. 

Every passenger whose baggage had gone missing would submit a full and complete list of their missing items. This time, a passenger in Newark had listed a pair of fuschia lingerie as missing, along with dozens of other items. The other items had not been found, but today, Jacqueline had found a seller online by the name of BritNay438 selling a pair of fuschia lingerie matching the passenger’s exact description.

For a brief moment, Jacqueline’s mind had flashed back to a passionate encounter with Joshua. She had not seen her own pink lingerie since that particularly steamy session. Could this lingerie simply be her own missing underwear, resurfacing on the internet to keep out of reach of Joshua’s prying wife?

Jacqueline quickly pushed this possibility out of her mind. The underwear matched the manifest too closely. Whatever hidden online fencing the criminal network had been doing, this time they had slipped. When she met with the seller, she would have her criminal.

Jacqueline sent the money, got the address, and set the time. Then she went home to get dressed and then rendezvous with her lover. Sunday was the day her husband went golfing and then drinking with his friends, leaving plenty of time for her to have all kinds of fun with Joshua.

Busting the airport crime ring would happen soon enough. For tonight, she was focused on one thing and one thing only, continuing her wildly irresponsible, but incredibly pleasant, affair.

***

Emily sat on the couch, her leg bouncing uncontrollably as she waited for the ring of the doorbell. Josh was in a different room, playing video games, or whatever he did when she wasn’t around.

The trap had been laid very carefully. She knew her fiance’s password to his phone, so it was a simple matter of misdirection. Brittany got Josh talking about sports and accidentally spilled some wine on his shirt, then when they went to clean his shirt, Emily had a few moments alone with Josh’s phone, which had been left behind on the counter.

To Emily’s dismay, there was no clear text thread with any lover. Every contact was someone that she recognized. The only thing suspicious was a single text thread with about two dozen unsaved numbers. She hadn’t had any time to read the previous messages, since Josh was coming back towards the room. Instead, she typed a simple message and sent it to the unknown recipients: “Emergency. Please meet at my house, 1379 Mulberry Ct. tomorrow at 10:30 AM. Do not reply.”

Upon learning that there was an entire mysterious text thread, Brittany had suggested that they list the discovered lingerie online as an added trap for the mysterious little minx. Whether the text thread and the affair were related, they would hopefully learn this morning.

Emily tapped her foot, glancing every few seconds to the clock on the wall. It was 10:27 and so far, no one had arrived.

Brittany had offered to be there for moral support, but Emily had insisted that she do this alone. After all, if she was going to be calling off a wedding and kicking her fiance out of the house, that was something best done alone.

DING-DONG.

Emily leapt to her feet, but did not run immediately to the door. “Josh! There’s someone at the door for you!” She walked just quickly enough to make sure that the door would be opened as he came down the stairs.

Emily opened the door and found herself face to face with a fiercely beautiful woman dressed in a tight dress and heels. This woman was more sensual than just about any that she had ever seen.

“Good morning ma’am,” the sensual woman said. “My name is Detective Jacqueline Hurst and I am looking for the seller of an item that was listed online and traced to this address. It was a piece of lingerie, bright pink colored, and listed at a very reasonable price.”

Emily’s throat tightened and tears came to her eyes. Though she had been suspicious, a part of her had never truly believed that her Josh might be capable of cheating on her.

“I listed the item, but it was something that my fiance, Joshua, had. It’s not mine.” Emily wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to glare at this absolutely stunning woman. “So I assume that the lingerie belongs to you,” she sniffled.

Jacqueline frowned. “No. The lingerie in question is not mine. It was one of two hundred distinct items identified in a theft made at LaGuardia Airport two weeks ago.”

“Theft?”

At this moment, Josh finally made his way down the stairs and into the doorway, right behind Emily. “What’s going on?”

“I’m confused too,” Emily nearly shouted. “So, my fiance has a pair of women’s underwear that isn’t mine, and you’re saying that it came from an airport robbery?” She turned to Josh, who was deathly pale. “Joshua… you aren’t cheating on me?”

Josh seemed deeply wounded. “Cheating on you?! Of course not! I play dungeons and dragons on the weekends and I’m a boring legal assistant at a second rate law firm. I landed a hot blonde, you think I would throw that away?”

“Joshua Stanton,” Jacqueline asked.

Josh nodded gravely. “That’s right.”

“You’re under arrest for conspiracy, theft, and the sale of illegally obtained goods.” She placed the cuffs on him and read him his rights as a horrified Emily looked on.

“Joshua,” Emily exclaimed. “Why?! Why did you do this?”

Joshua shrugged. “Cost of living is insane these days. You wanted a nice car, a nice wedding venue, and the whole middle class American Dream. I needed a little extra cash. So I had a few of my buddies cut me into a little operation they had going on. It involved a pretty sophisticated set of airport robberies, since security around baggage claim is basically non-existent.” 

Josh turned towards Jacqueline. “Seriously, have you ever noticed? They just have a bunch of bags spinning around and it’s all based on the honor system. You can walk away with pretty much anything.”

Jacqueline nodded. “I mean, it’s still illegal. And you will absolutely be going to jail for this, but yeah, I suppose you’re right.” She turned to Emily, who was sobbing uncontrollably in the doorway by now. “Listen, I would stay and make sure everything is all squared away, but I’m actually in the middle of cheating on my husband, so I need to run.”

Emily suddenly remembered the text message. “Wait! I sent a message to all his accomplices on his cell phone yesterday, asking them to meet here at 10:30 this morning.”

Jacqueline’s eyes widened. “So you’re saying that the entire Northeastern Ring of Airport Thieves is coming to your house right now?”

Emily stammered, “uh… I– I guess so.”

Jacqueline let out a weary sigh and walked to her car. She pulled out a walkie-talkie. “Garcia, bring three squad cars to 1379 Mulberry Ct. please. I think we just closed this case.” Jacqueline pulled out her phone and began typing. “Guess I won’t need this dress today. Emily, do you have any kind of lawn chair that I could use while I sit out here and wait for everyone to arrive?”

***

Now, dear readers, the final details that you may be wondering. By now, you may have figured it out, but Jacqueline was not cheating on her husband with the Josh that we met in our story. In fact, she was cheating with a completely different Josh, who had his own fiance named Emily. That Josh and Emily are completely separate from the Josh and Emily that you met in our story, who would still very much like to get married, but will have to wait until Joshua’s prison term is completed.

If at any point you have found yourself confused by this tale, please remember the perils of giving your children an extremely common name.